Formal letter


To: Brad Franklin Blackstone
Cc: -
Attachment: -
Subject: Self-Introduction

Dear Mr. Blackstone
                                    
I am Lee Chek Eu from SIE2016 – Effective Communications-T5 group. The purpose of this email is to introduce myself so that you could know me better. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Biomedical Engineering in 2017 and I am currently studying Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (SIE - Land).  I gained an interest in engineering during my polytechnic days, as I love problem-solving and I am also interested in the transport system in Singapore. Therefore, I decided to pursue this degree in the Singapore Institute of Technology(SIT).

I love to sing during my free time. Singing is a type of performing arts and a type of communication. For example, by singing a birthday song, it tells the person you care about them to even remember their birth date. The tone of the song is cheerful, this shows that it is an important date to celebrate or it is a special occasion. Singing also allows me to project my voice, being able to sing in front of people requires confidence. Therefore, I feel that my strength would be communicating verbally with confidence. However, communicating through emails or text messages would be my weakness.  I have problems with my grammars and sentence structure. Therefore, many recipients and friends prefer me to convey the message verbally.

By the end of this module, I hope to become a person that would be able to send a decent email to someone or an organization. I also wish to improve my grammar and be able to identify any errors within a statement so that I could edit or point out errors for others.

Yours sincerely,
Lee Chek Eu

edited on 29/11/19

I commented on Mirza, Zhi Qi and Boon Kiat formal letter

Comments

  1. Koh Yuan KaiSeptember 14, 2019 at 6:51 PM

    Hi Chek Eu, your formal letter is excellent! It's really well written! However, there are some minor areas that i believe can be improved on:

    1) "Dear Mr. Brad" should be 'Dear Mr. Blackstone'.

    2) "a diploma in Biomedical Engineering" i think should be 'a Diploma in Biomedical Engineering'.

    3) "SIT" should be spelled out 'Singapore Institute of Technology'.

    4) "Singing also allow me to project my voice, being able to sing in front of people require confidence." should be 'Singing also allows me to project my voice, being able to sing in front of people requires confidence.'

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lee Chek EuSeptember 19, 2019 at 4:32 AM

      Thank you for your advice, I have edited my Formal letter accordingly.

      Delete
  2. MirzaSeptember 16, 2019 at 8:21 AM

    Hi Chek Eu, I have read your letter and I feel that you have given an interesting approach towards writing the letter. You managed to relate your strength with your passion.

    -In the first line, you could leave a spacing between “Dear Mr.Brad” to your first paragraph for formatting wise.

    -You need to be mindful of some words that need or need not be in caps.

    - “A type of communications”, the word should be communication as you have stated ‘a type’ which is a singular noun.

    - Instead of “Singing also allows me to project my own voice, being able to sing in front of people require confidence” you could have put it,“It requires me to be confident and be able to project my voice in front of a crowd”. ( Sentence structure)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lee Chek EuSeptember 19, 2019 at 4:34 AM

      Thanks Mirza, after reading you comment . I did some amendment to my formal letter writing.

      Delete
  3. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 20, 2019 at 1:10 AM

    Dear Chek Eu,

    Thank you for this clear, very concise and yet fairly complete self introduction. You have followed the model presented in class and produced a letter that addresses each element of the task requirement. I appreciate the info about your interest in problem solving. You also weave in your hobby. When I read that bit though I wondered about the circumstances of your singing. Do you belong to some organized group or what? I like the way you tie singing to a discussion of strengths and weaknesses in communication. However, you need to make this clearer. The whole thing about singing for brithdays makes it sound like you do this routinely.

    You also state that you’d like to improve your ‘grammar’. In terms of specific language use, we always treat that in context, and we can do that with the following:

    1. Sentence structure
    -- For example, by singing a birthday song, it tells the person you care about them to even remember their birth date. > (comma splice)
    -- The tone of the song is cheerful, this show that it is an important date to celebrate or it is special occasion. > (comma splice)
    -- Singing also allow me to project my voice, being able to sing in front of people requires confidence. > (comma splice)

    See this website if you're not sure what that means: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-splice/


    Ask me about this if it remains unclear.

    Cheers,

    ReplyDelete

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